Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize