forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
