im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
