Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
