Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
