Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
