Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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