It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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