If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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