Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
