did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
