Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
