also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
