Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize