I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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