Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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