Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
