You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
