The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
why do cheetos always look like penises
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
