I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
