if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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