white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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