True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I party with great urgency now.
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