Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
