everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
