When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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