you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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