All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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