Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
