She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
