I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
A bitchslap is in order.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
