My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
