i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I think i got beer on your cat.
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