I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
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