Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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