I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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