Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
