She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
