and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
