i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
