I bet he comes in French.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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