you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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