I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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