wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
