you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
