I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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