Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
