I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
