We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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