Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
