if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
