I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
