I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
