Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
